I am a pompous bitch

I have been spending time browsing internet to understand why can’t I understand that people cannot understand me… or my thinking.

Deep inside my heart, I kept saying “How can he/she be that stupid? It is obvious that should be done this way or that way”.

I seriously never thought that I am way smarter than the average… I know that I am a bit smarter. Only a bit.

But recently I’ve become more and more desperate to find people to have deeper conversation… Just now, I passed through a pool area. There are 3 pools… Baby pool, children pool and semi-Olympic pool… I was thinking, of course I need to find new friends, just like I need to move out from baby pool if I want to dive and feel the water enveloping me. Those who are in baby pool, will look at me weirdly if I tried to dive deep… because there is no space there. Just like a lot of people I know, they only talked about shallow things, gossips, menial things…

So I tried to find answers from smart friends… more logical and satisfying… but none of them give me good answers. Then I start browsing internet… at first my key words are “why can’t I understand others?”… and it grew to… “Bipolar and intelligence”… and just “dealing with less intelligent people”.

And I stumbled upon plenty of blogs, articles, etc. such as this one (http://thoughtcatalog.com/kovie-biakolo/2013/11/10-reasons-being-intelligent-is-difficult/)

Most of them are saying, it is not fun to be intelligent and smarter than the rest… in fact, it can be very dangerous for health!

I don’t want to admit that I am smarter than most people, I don’t want to say that my brain is superior to other human being… but, the facts that I found were too similar to what I’m feeling… and it made me even more depress… I am living in Indonesia, dammit! where no one is reading book (I don’t really mean everyone, it’s a figure of speaking), how can I find anyone, a friend who can understand this?

 

Don’t be proud when someone say you are smart, or if you have a smart child… life is tough and full of pain because most people do not care what you care, or what your child care about… You will never win when you are smarter than the rest… I can tell you this.