Bitchiness is not a Crime

Just another woman who try to look wise

A step closer to the self

I love my job. No matter how many times I said it, it is just sound right.

I used to think that my job made me learn about new things, but in fact, it made me learn to understand myself better. Where I came from, why I think, feel and do things the way I do it.

This new job is going to be so much of a challenge! It will drive me mad and crazier than ever.

Recently, well… just now. I read a report about Muslim women. Wait! I’m not going to talk about Muslim woman or how pious I am… oh no… way better than that! I am going to talk and justify why I am not pious and it is not your goddam business.

I am a liberal person in general, I don’t act like I am holier than thou, or know more than anyone in this world. But, I think I got to say that I walk through the whole religious experience…

My parents, in my early years, so I was so very young. Was Pagans. (Don’t tell my mom, I think she still cannot let go her Pagan beliefs). I remember going to these ‘sacred’ places and giving offering to the unseen deities, burning incense, chanting weird prayers, asking the ancestors’ help and so on…. I never liked going to those places. I never saw anything unusual… I think! And of course, they bring this kind of behaviour home… we have these ‘sacred’ objects and the kids need to do ‘chanting’ or do a certain rituals (nothing dodgy I swear).

Then at one point, after my father got a horrible accident. They stopped doing it. Give offerings, meditating and so on.

And then, they slowly turn to Islam… I can’t blame them, it is the only religion they know after Paganism. They do prayer, even group religion discussion. At first, since Paganism is too thick in our blood (oh yes, our long line of heritage is build on Paganism), we still do some ‘Traditional Javanese’ rituals. Even until 25 years ago, my youngest sister, still have to be caged in chicken cage (for a few minutes I promise you, and in a very humane way), walk on colorful sticky rice cake, and so on…

As time passes by, my parents begin to leave all that behind. At least, my father was quite strict about it. Toward his end, he is quite pious… (I miss my dad so much! I wish he can see me and see that I am not the disappointment everyone used to see).

Anyway, after my dad passed away, my mum still hold on to the ‘pious’ way and the gentle & sophisticated Islam (yes it is, the one that say, “the hell with others, we are too busy dealing with our own shit”).

So the recent years, as my father’s influence mellowed down. I got this feeling that my mum’s Paganism is back… I disagree, but as long as she doesn’t hurt anyone, what can I do?

Little I realized, the trace of Paganism never leaves the house… I believe, one of my sisters is still ‘somewhat’ Pagan. I just got this hunches, I might be wrong.

Now, my mum is straying to the extreme Islam… OH SHIT! As long as she is not wearing any dangerous ‘outfit’, she can do whatever. What I mean by ‘extreme’, is that she got to the point saying that my lefty niece, is doing sin by eating with her left hand… SHE IS A FRICKIN’ LEFTY, what do you expect?! Luckily, my sister don’t take action on it… phew!

This long winded story, is actually getting to the point…

I realized my Indonesian Muslims are quite ‘liberal’ in general, as I am. We walk through 5 religions in our culture, we were Pagans, and then Hindus at some point in time, and then we were Buddhists and then a bit of Christian seep into our archipelago, and blocked by Islam. And Islam was trying to wipe other religion away from this country.. I would say…. 80-90% success, seeing the population. But we were not converted from Pagan to Islam directly. The breadcrumbs of other religions stays.

As for me, I experience Paganism and Christian when I was little (we all went to Catholic school, where my mum believes they gave the best education), and then learing Islam and TOLERANCE as I grew up. I remember, TOLERANCE, was a HUGE campaign that our government try to bring in to people. It worked, until… yep! 1998.

As we release ourselves from dictatorship, we also release different kind of monsters.

I am who I am, because my parents raise me in multicultural life. We learn to accept and respect… at least I learn that. Religion, beliefs, or whatever, it is a personal choice. We learn to live the way we want to live.

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January 15, 2015 - Posted by | B*tching, Family, God, In between, Indonesia, Life in General, Religion

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