Bitchiness is not a Crime

Just another woman who try to look wise

All apples in the bucket are good?

In an ideal world, we are all living in bliss… all of us have roof above their heads, clothes to keep warm, food to satisfy our hunger, and our better half just as better.

It has been a very busy week for me, and I realised that I haven’t had the chance to talk to my best friends… intellectually of course.

And for the last few days I’ve been so cranky and irritated at everything. At first I don’t know why… but after a while I think about it… I am intellectually hungry… oh I misses exchanging witty words, sarcasm, or just discussion anything that came out of the blue…

This also makes me think further… I think, I cannot live with someone who cannot satisfy my craving for intellect things. This new insight of myself makes me stumble upon what I have on my plate at the moment… I can’t accept just ANY man to be my life long companion.

Someone once told me that it is impossible for me to live with someone less than me… I wasn’t quite agree with her at that time, I thought “hey, as long as we both can be partners, of course I can!”. But I was wrong… then I also remember someone from my past told me, “H, you can’t live with just a simple guy, you’ll get bored in 5 minutes”.

Am I that complex?

And just a few weeks ago, my mum said to me, “you want someone who you can dominate, right?!” – hell no!!

But, did I send that signal?

I know that I will always challenge any man who tries to get on my side, not because I want to win… ou contraire… I want someone who can beat me… makes me yield…

Only a few did, but they don’t want me… of course. I know why… we all want to come home to simplicity…

After a whole day at work, with all the pressure and the work load, we just want to unwind ourselves in our nest, we just want to be stupid, dumb as an ass, and ignorant as commoners, etc.etc… we don’t need more challenges in bed (well, you know what I mean… some ‘challenges’ are required).

(don’t you all dare tell me to change! It is not a matter of changing outfit, instead… about acceptance)

You see, I’ve begin to face the real problem… it’s not that I’m blaming Indonesian men, how can I? I mean, they’re all been brought up like that and that is all they know… and I can’t blame how I am now… (trust me, it is not because how I’ve been brought up, or maybe it is… who cares)

I just had a conversation with a friend, I told him, “you see, this is the normal circle… and I am here… outside the normal circle”. I’m not implying that I’m crazy or anything. It’s just I don’t belong in ‘normal’ criteria.

As far as I can see, there are 2 options for me…

  1. To accept the ‘normal’ norm and be content with whatever come next.
  2. To accept that in my journey, I may never find my better half (since he is off running out with some other chick crossing half the world)

Now, to choose option 1… I may have to force myself to get up every morning and put on a fake smile for the rest of my life (of course, it may turn out to be different, but the chances are slim).

Or to choose option 2… I have no idea what’s ahead, and uncertainty makes me feel very uncomfortable.

So many people had tried to convince me that being ‘normal’ is a better option. But how can they know? They’ve never been ‘not-normal’ for their entire life… how can they know how it feels to be so desperately craving for a sexy intellectual conversation? Do they even know what is a ‘sexy intellectual conversation’ is?

Just because most in a bucket of apples are sweet, but it doesn’t mean that the entire bucket are all sweet juicy apple, right?


June 2, 2009 - Posted by | B*tching, In between, Life in General, Relationship, Uncategorized


  1. It is what it is! Do not change your color and don’t try to make things simpler either!
    Cause it is what it is and it should be in the way things should be.
    Not only lots of love and brain you need now from a man. You do not only need someone courageous enough to deal with your challenges. You need someone with real guts! And the problem is, it’s hard to find now a days. But I believe and I know you believe, there will be someone!

    Comment by Buncit Ndut | June 2, 2009 | Reply

    • hiks…
      I am touched…
      Brain, Balls, Beauty… such a lovely combination 😀
      (but that does sound like a monster)
      Thank big bro… to change just to fit into the clothes they prepared is not one of my plans anyway… not because Am arrogant or something… I’ve gained weight! how can I fit into that tiny fragile dress?! 😀

      Comment by hapitri | June 4, 2009 | Reply

  2. Menurut saya, yg paling asyik sih ikut petuah Kabayan yaitu menerapkan ilmu “ngigelan kendang” (hehehe… mahluk apaan tuh?……..), konon arti harfiah “ngigelan kendang” adalah mampu bergoyang sesuai irama gendang…

    Apakah itu berarti kita tidak punya atau harus mengorbankan ourown personal identity? …
    Sama sekali ndak begitu, “ngigelan kendang” is a kind of skill & intelligent way to be smart, flexible and adaptive to any situation, to furthermore turns an unfortunate condition into a favorable opportunity.

    Kita seyogianya tidak menjadi korban “irama lagu” yang dimainkan melainkan justru harus mampu mengimbangi dan menikmati lagu apapun yg dimainkan dengan keindahan “tarian” kita sehingga justru sang pemusik tergerak untuk menyesuaikan tempo, irama dan lagu yg akan dimainkan dengan lenggak-lenggok tarian kita!

    Dengan kemampuan mengimplementasikan falsafah “ngigelan kendang”, dapat dipastikan semua pihak akan merasa enjoy menikmati hidup ini tanpa harus merasa kehilangan jati diri karena atau untuk siapapun…

    mau coba?

    Comment by Irawan Danuningrat | August 3, 2009 | Reply

    • Excellent point!!!

      itu kan hanya kalau kita bs menikmati iramanya… ataukah suka ndak suka yg penting goyang maaang??

      Comment by hapitri | August 3, 2009 | Reply

      • Bukan suka ndak suka yg penting goyang loh…, intinya sih “ikuti dulu” irama yg sdg ditabuh dgn baik dan kesungguhan. Insyaallah melihat gesture kita, kesungguhan dan talenta kita, tdk tertutup kemungkinan selanjutnya bukan goyangan yg mengikuti irama gendang, melainkan justru gendang itulah yg mengikuti irama dan gerakan yg kita mainkan ….

        mungkin intinya: mengalah, memberi dan mengikuti “arus” terlebih dulu utk mendapatkan apa yg kita inginkan…

        Comment by Irawan Danuningrat | August 4, 2009

      • hehehe… ikuti arus yah mas?
        kl baca di tulisan lanjutannya, saya sdh blg kl saya ternyata pernah ikuti irama… dan ternyata saya tdk bahagia dan ternyata juga saya ga bs bertemu orang yg tepat 😀

        saya pernah dpt satu quote yg bagus…
        “mungkin tuhan menginginkan kita bertemu dengan banyak orang sebelum kita bertemu orang yang tepat”
        rasanya saya bs relate tuh sm quote itu, agar kita bisa lbh bersyukur nantinya 🙂

        Comment by hapitri | August 4, 2009

      • What a great quote… I 100% belief it so. Siti Hajar aja juga PERNAH harus 7 kali bolak-balik shafa-marwah dlm rangka menemukan air sebelum dipertemukan dengan air zamzam yg didambanya, dan weleh..weleh… ternyata mata air tsb bukan di mana-mana… melainkan begitu dekat, yakni diujung kaki bayi Ismail dimana ia meletakkannya…
        So,… U may have several “pernah” be done, but, ga perlu berhitung dear… let HIM complete the rest, I remain.

        Comment by Irawan Danuningrat | August 5, 2009

      • don’t you feel out of control when you just go with the flow?
        Am not a control freak, but I do need to feel to have some control of my life…

        Not that I will not go that road again, but if I could choose, I rather not…

        Comment by hapitri | August 8, 2009

  3. If you’d go that road again…..
    please tell me when, and which road would you walk in…
    then I would let myself ready right by the road
    to see and greet U passing by…..
    dadahhh…. mmuuahhh

    Comment by Irawan Danuningrat | August 9, 2009 | Reply

    • we’ll never know my friend… never say never they said! ;D

      Comment by hapitri | August 12, 2009 | Reply

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