Bitchiness is not a Crime

Just another woman who try to look wise

It’s shown

Last Friday when I went to an early meeting at a client’s place, and as common Jakarta attitude, the client of course was late. So while we’re waiting, my boss and I, (yes, the story was not about the meeting, I was placing a place only) we had a small talk… and I don’t know how it got to where we were, but we end up talking about being single. She said to me that being single is not actually by destiny, it is an option. One thing her mother told her that is, if someone wanting enough to be married, then it will shows in her attitude, in the way she dress, in the way she puts on her make-up, the way she talks, the way she moves, etc. Then she said, those women who want to get married, they put those things to attract men, to get some attention to them and at the end, they do all those things to please men. I think it through… and remember that most of my ‘un-married’ friends, so often that they don’t put on makeup, they dress as they please, and they don’t swing their hips 😛 To be honest, knowing that… knowing that it is I, myself, who actually doesn’t want to be married, is almost a relieve! Since I think I know what makes marriage scared the hell out of me… I am so afraid that I might lose myself in that marriage, turn to be someone else, have to give up my true self. Some people say that you need time and need readiness, to settle… I don’t know if I ever be ready. Some others say that you need the right person, and then you’ll know… Oh, I just don’t give a shit! I’m happy as I am now, I don’t need to change because of ‘man’. It’s not like no one wants me, but it is more to… I think, I don’t want to be with anyone… I do feel lonely every once and a while, but when I think of how my life is now… I believe I created the whole situation, I prevent it from happening… Whoa… such a big, big statement to myself.

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April 7, 2009 - Posted by | Family, In between, Life in General, Marriage, Men, Relationship, Women

7 Comments »

  1. Yup Yup – banyak orang yang berpikir dirinya bisa berubah maupun pada sisi lain merasa bisa merubah orang lain. Saya rasa pada banyak kasus, hal ini bisa menimbulkan persoalan.
    Kalo memang cocok yang kawinlah maksudku menikahlah 🙂 – tidak perlu menjadi orang lain untuk cocok dan pada sisi sebaliknya carilah makhluk hidup yang memang cocok. Tidak perlu sok ngatur sok merubah orang lain yang sedari awal tidak cocok lalu dipaksa-paksa. Kalo memang merasa bisa berubah ya silahken. Mengubah orang lain ya lebih sulit lagi. tetapi kalo masing-masing terpaksa atau sekedar kembang api. Bunga-bunga cinta gicu loh. Yap itu bisa jadi masalah serius di masa depan…..-

    Comment by lovepassword | April 11, 2009 | Reply

  2. hear, hear!
    itulah yg byk terjadi, kadang kita memaksakan diri atau pasangan kita untuk berubah demi kenyamanan dan keuntungan satu pihak…
    wew… senang ada pria yg setuju 😀

    hehehe….

    Comment by hapitri | April 13, 2009 | Reply

  3. We have a saying where I live… “A woman marries a man hoping to change him and a man marries hoping she will never change”. I think you need to choose your own path and don’t look back.

    Comment by Bradley | April 20, 2009 | Reply

  4. 😀
    easier said than done, no?!

    Comment by hapitri | April 25, 2009 | Reply

  5. hahaha 😀

    just as long as you are happy like your name my dear 🙂

    Comment by Freddy | April 28, 2009 | Reply

  6. Menikah, bagi yg telah menjalaninya, sesungguhnya lebih merupakan upaya menciptakan sebuah “harmony”…, bukan membangun “keseragaman” seperti sering dibayangkan oleh mereka yg belum/tidak menikah…. wew, jangan keliru ya!

    Membangun dan citra “keseragaman” selain dapat memberi gambaran yg membosankan, juga relatif sulit dilakukan dan cukup menakutkan. Bayangkan, bagaimana rasanya jika kita harus menjadi sosok lain demi seseorang yg baru dikenal, atau bagaimana sulit dan tidak nyamannya mengubah seseorang menjadi orang lain…, masalahnya, seperti itukah gambaran riil sebuah perkawinan? hohoho… tidak sama sekali.

    Hidup berkeluarga ibarat meng-compose sebuah lagu. Kita diajak memadukan berbagai alat musik dengan bunyi dan karakteristik berbeda guna memperoleh harmoni yg mampu menumbuhkan “rasa dan lagu” yg kita dambakan. Kita butuh Drum yg bunyinya gedebam-gedebum, Biola yg mendayu-dayu, gitar yg atraktif, piano/electone yg dinamis dll untuk memperoleh sebuah “irama” yg mungkin tidak pernah kita nikmati sebelumnya. Bayangkan jika kita hanya memadukan dua alat musik yg sama dengan dana yg sama pula pasti sangat membosankan karena untuk membuat “lagu” mutlak diperlukan berbagai nada yg berbeda.

    So, menurut saya, seyogianya dicermati lebih dulu apakah persepsi tentang “hidup berkeluarga” diantara kita sudah sesuai atau belum? jika persepsi masing-masing berbeda, ya… samapai kapanpun mustahil akan dicapai titik temu.

    gicu looh…
    best regards

    Comment by Irawan Danuningrat | August 6, 2009 | Reply

    • I love this!!
      I couldn’t agree more…

      Comment by hapitri | August 8, 2009 | Reply


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