Bitchiness is not a Crime

Just another woman who try to look wise

Us on Eagerly to be Wed

I wrote this with my friend, D, quite sometimes ago…

Now, this is not going to be a writing about single girls whines… or is it? Well, we would like to say that this is a shallow analysis of the common condition of mature single girls. Let’s get one thing straight, mature here means near 30 to maybe 40?! Okay, now we are on the same level.

Starting with the fact that girls or should we say women at that age is getting more and more anxious of getting a steady boyfriend and even wanting to get married, that’s a common fact. D once said that it is our body screaming that it needs to procreate as soon as possible since our time is almost up and creating ruckus in our brain to find itself a sperm donor, thus there is this anxiousness of finding a man. As for me, I always said that it’s the culture, the society that’s forcing us to be a couple since we reach the age of maturity

But after we talk about it over and over again… yes, it is our favourite subject to talk about – we reach to a conclusion that… we’re only looking for excuses, justifying ourselves of this urge of finding a man. The fact is, we both fear the same thing… We are afraid of being lonely. One day our dear family and friends will be too busy living their lives, buried in their own problems and they will have no more time to spend with us. We are afraid of being one of those old ladies who live alone with a cat, with no one to talk to when they are sick, sad, bored, and worse…no one to share when they are happy.  Oh, Gosh, D have this great fear that one day she’ll choke myself while eating a shrimp hakaw, and no one is there to give her the Heimlich Manoeuvre. She’d die without anyone knowing, after a few days and the cat will eat half of her face out of hunger.

We both have this crazy thoughts and feelings, not that we’re afraid of being left out by the world, but we realized that in Indonesia, to get a male ‘partner’ after you have 30 candles on your birthday cake is rather challenging. After you cross that line, the chance of finding a male suitor would be almost the same as being hit by a lightning.

People always say that we’re too picky, we’re a dreamer, and we want the impossible, etc. etc. But basically, what we have is minimum standard for males in physical appearance, earning power and I.Q, using ourselves as the benchmark. Picture us as, two late twenties single women with university education and a day job. No, we didn’t graduate as Summa Cum Laude, we don’t have the corner office and we don’t have a name plate stuck in the door neither. We’re not exactly supermodels (duh, y’think?) but with the right shade of lipstick and a pair of shoes we can still turn some eyes. So, our ideal guy is not that IDEAL after all, heh?

So here we are, nearly 30 (we both confused whether we’re considered old or still young), looking for Mr. Right (not Mr. Right Now or even Mr. Always Right 😛 ), scared of being single until the day we die, with no one to take care of us and become bitter spinsters. Oh, being young bitches is fun, but old bitches… hm… y’think?! Flirting with guys is fun, but what fun is it when the guy you’re flirting with is half your age?

Let alone, the most frequent questions (old people’s all time favourite), “when will you get married?”, “who’s your boyfriend now”, “you know….so-so just had a baby….”, “So-so met her husband in blah… blah… blah…“ Being single is not like having a huge zit, when no one will pretend that it isn’t there. Everyone seems so happy to remind you about your chronic marital status. Oh, why can’t they leave us be?! We are already terrified with the thought of cat eating our face when we’re dead, and still we have to put up with these nosy questions that aren’t helping at all. We know that many women have to face the same thing; it is a never ending circle…….

But, no matter what we’re going to keep our minimum standard. We’re not going to be one of those women who reduce their standard in choosing a male partner down into a penis a pulse. We both realized that we want more than a walking and talking dildos.

Well, we just have to train our cats to dial 119 then, just in case…

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September 23, 2008 - Posted by | B*tching, Friendship, Life in General, Marriage, Men, Relationship, Women

27 Comments »

  1. Salam kenal,
    Gw suka postingan elo. Bagus banget buat dibaca para jomblowati. Sorry, pake bahasa Indonesia. Bahasa Inggris gw kacau beliau. he he he..ketimbang malu-maluin. ha ha ha…

    Comment by fatamorgana | October 15, 2008 | Reply

  2. Terima kasih Morgan 😉

    ini cuma jeritan2 liar dari hati kami yang kacau oleh masyarakat plus hormon2 wanita yang tak stabil hihihi…

    salam kenal juga, jangan malu2… lebih baik salah dari pada tidak pernah mencoba sama sekali.. scr bhs inggris gw jg ga sempurna 😀

    Comment by hapitri | October 16, 2008 | Reply

  3. sebenarnya postingan elo itu juga curhatan teman2 gw yg jomblowati. Mereka lebih parah lho! Bukan nearly 30 tapi…..life begins at 40. You know…..even, 40 something….

    Salut! Gw belum pernah ketemu blogger cewek berani ngungkapin hal beginian. Ato, karena gw yg jarang menjelajah ya? Soalnya, masih cupu nih.

    Comment by fatamorgana | October 16, 2008 | Reply

  4. Sesuai dengan analis passwordku – sudah kuramalkan kalo dua makhluk ajaib yang nggak mau ngaku kalo diri mereka wanita – akan nyambung satu sama lain. Hik Hik.

    Wahai Dua makhluk hidup ciptaan Tuhan yang terindah. Entah kalian cewek atau bukan, manusia atau bukan – yang penting Selamat ngerumpi ya ? Hik Hik.

    Comment by lovepassword | October 16, 2008 | Reply

  5. si lopis jangan didengerin ya, mbak…Emang suka error tuh anak. O ya, teman-temanku dari beragam usia lho! Ada yg 20 lebih, 30 lebih, 40 an, bahkan ada yg nyaris 50. Dan…mereka banyak yang single. Kenapa gak bikin blog khusus buat para jomblowati aja ya?

    Comment by fatamorgana | October 17, 2008 | Reply

  6. @ Morgan,
    Iya ini hal yang umum terjadi pada wanita moderen jaman sekarang… seperti yang gw diskusiin sama temen2 gw… jaman sekarang bukan wanita yang engga bisa ditebak, tapi cowo yang makhluk membingungkan 😛

    @lovepassword
    cocok? hahaha… rasanya benar 😉 bukan ngegosip sech… tapi lebih untuk membicarakan nasib kami 😀

    @ Morgan (lagi)
    wah… kalo buat blog khusus jomblowati yang ada mellow & dapat hinaan muluu dari makhluk dari Mars 😀

    Comment by hapitri | October 17, 2008 | Reply

  7. Masak sih? Perasaan makhluk dari Mars nggak suka menghina deh.

    Comment by lovepassword | October 17, 2008 | Reply

  8. Budaya Timur memang begitu, mbak. Selalu menganggap aneh wanita yang jomblo. Apalagi kalau umur sudah semakin tua. Tapi, kita tidak perlu mendengarkan apa kata mereka. Biarkan anjing menggonggong, kafilah jalan terus. Biarkan mahluk mars menghina, mahluk venus harus cuek. Memang tidak mudah. Kadang, menjadi lajang lebih hina ketimbang jadi janda. Begitu kan pendapat masyarakat kebanyakan? Padahal, apa salahnya jika kita pintar, sukses dan mandiri? Apa salahnya kalau kita belum menikah di usia rawan? So, cuek saja. Tidak usah terlalu dipikirin ya…..

    Comment by fatamorgana | October 18, 2008 | Reply

  9. Kadang menjadi lajang lebih hina ketimbang janda ? Weleh-weleh. Mengapa juga kamu malah ikut-ikutan masuk dikotomi lajang sama janda. Manusia itu tidak dinilai dari janda atau lajang. Tapi dinilai dari kontribusinya untuk manusia lain.
    Teorinya sih begitu. Keren nggak ?

    Sekali lagi ini cuma teori lho ya ? Kalo prakteknya entar. Mesti pemanasan dulu soalnya.

    Kalo masalah hinaan ? Ya diterima saja. Makan saja tuh hinaan dicerna entar juga keluar lagi kan. Ngapain juga ngurusin hinaan orang lain. Hik Hik.

    Comment by lovepassword | October 18, 2008 | Reply

  10. Keren…keren…plok..plok… Bener sih, lopis….
    Jangan urusin hinaan orang ya? Kali ini aku sependapat nih ama kamu. Eh, kok…kita jadi ngegosip di blog orang sih?
    Kamu lagi…ngapain ikutan ngerumpi ama cewek2 sih? Btw, aku jadi dapat ide pengin bikin blog Jomblowati. Menurutmu gimana? Enaknya, digabung sama blog Kumpulan Cerpen dan Puisi atau dipisah ya? Ups! kok jadi ngobrol lagi neh. Udah, akh….pamit dulu. Ntar si mbak melotot lho.

    Comment by fatamorgana | October 19, 2008 | Reply

  11. @ Morgan…
    dasyat!! bener banget tuh… kerap kali jadi lajang itu sepertinya hina banget… antara cewe yg udah ga laku bgt, cewe ga jelas, cewe yg perlu diwaspadai bila dekat2 dg suami, cewe egois banget, cewe yg belagu, dll… engga ada bagus2nya!!! hihihi… kl buat janda mah.. buat gw sama ajah… selama elu cewe, ga punya pasangan… udah deh… masuk di dalam golongan tak terpuji 😛
    Btw, please let me know when you do make that Jomblowati blog okay?!
    and… gw seneng kok ngegosip2 tanpa ada topic jelas gini 😀 – expanding your imagination baby!!

    @ lovepassword
    awalnya sech gw ngerasa hinaan itu cuma krn mereka jeles ajah.. secara gw keren getho (huahahahahaa), tapi lama2… sebel kaleeee dengernya… pegel pengen nyumpel kaos kaki ke mulut2 iseng itu! 😛 ~ jadilah blog ini 😉
    kontribusi ke manusia lain?? siapa yg tahu?? kl kita gembar-gembor, malah jadi Riya dong say?!
    nah… what does it takes to be agreeable human being then?

    Comment by hapitri | October 20, 2008 | Reply

  12. He eh…dituduh cerewetlah, pilih2lah, judes kali, sok kali, makanya gak laku2. Emang barang ya? he he he…giliran kita lagi bad mood, dibilang :Dasar perawan tua! Waduh! padahal yg bisa bad mood kan gak cuma perawan tua. Nyonya2 juga bisa. Cuma kalo lajang cewek yg marah2, suka dibawa2 tuh statusnya. Eh, kok jadi sewot sih gw? ha hah….

    Pasti, kalo blog jomblonya udah jadi aku kasih tahu deh! Soalnya, aku udah gemes neh sama stigma masyarakat thd lajang cewek. Mau nuangin semua unek2 aku dan unek2 teman2ku sampai luber..ber..ber…ha ha ha…seru kali yee….

    Comment by fatamorgana | October 20, 2008 | Reply

  13. @Morgan
    Hahahaha… giling… itulah yang terjadi sama perempuan, nasibnya cuma jadi object… hehehe… baru semalem gw keki sama temen gw, dia bilang post gw yg terbaru “oh yang kamu jualan?!” huaaaaaaaa… rasanya seperti ditampar.. scr yg gw omongin adalah kesedihan gw meninggalkan masa muda…
    Itu, cuma karena gw menyebutkan status ‘single’ gw dalam post itu!! sialan…
    nah lo, malah curhat gw 😛

    Comment by hapitri | October 20, 2008 | Reply

  14. cuekin aja deh. Kenyataannya, kamu gak jualan kan? Pasti, dia sirik tanda tak mampu. he hehe…

    Comment by fatamorgana | October 21, 2008 | Reply

  15. hahaha… salah persepsi sepertinya 😀

    thank you yah udah menyemangati gw 😉

    Comment by hapitri | October 21, 2008 | Reply

  16. Kalo kalian merasa para tante pada jeles, ya baguslah itu. Hi Hi Hi. Tapi kalo ujung-ujungnya masih sebel – berarti kalian itu masih kurang sombong. Hi Hi Hi.

    Angkat dagu sedikit, pandang cermin sambil ngedap-ngedip kayak Sinchan. “Ternyata gua keren banget ya pantas semua orang pada sirik.”

    Lha kalo kamu sudah nyampe tahap itu, yang pasti bakal pusing adalah orang lain.

    Comment by lovepassword | October 21, 2008 | Reply

  17. @hapitri : harus semangat, mbak! Aku punya tante umur 50 lebih baru married lho. Yah, kalo umur segitu sih memang jgn harapin punya anak, tapi tujuan married kan gak harus having a child. Kalo someday, aku married, tujuannya adalah untuk saling berbagi dg teman hidupku. Saling curhat, mendukung, menolong gicu lho! Btw, aku percaya….mbak pasti bisa dapetin pria yang baik.

    @lopis : gak usah sombong, pis….Gak baik! Biarin aja orang mau ngomong apa kek. Masuk telinga kiri keluar telinga kanan. Kalo dengerin omongan orang gak ada abisnya. Bakal cape lahir batin. Mending juga nge-blog aja. he he he..gak nyambung ya?

    Comment by fatamorgana | October 22, 2008 | Reply

  18. @ LP
    hahaha… orang udah pada pusing kok sama gw… tapi msh byk yg tidak kurang gigihnya untuk terus menerus memberitahukan pada gw bahwa jombo itu hina dina, beranak itu mulia (huh! emang perempuan pabrik anak?!)

    @Morgan
    pria yang baik? darling, I’m looking for a man whose worthy of having me 😉 – a nice man might not be enough.
    Erm.. emg hrs merit yah?! ga nista dong kl engga nikah???

    Comment by hapitri | October 23, 2008 | Reply

  19. Beranak itu mulia ? Iya mulia sih
    Makan juga mulia
    Ngeblog juga mulia
    Pilih aja yang enak

    Comment by lovepassword | October 23, 2008 | Reply

  20. huahahaha… masalahnya bukan looking for glory my dear…
    masalah hinadina itu lhooo…. gw kan cuma menyuarakan beberapa wanita yang mengalami hal yang sama 😛

    Comment by hapitri | October 24, 2008 | Reply

  21. Wanita single sama mulianya sama wanita yg married. masa kadar kemuliaan seorang wanita diukur sama statusnya. BIG NO NO NO! Don’t ever listen to them!

    Comment by fatamorgana | October 24, 2008 | Reply

  22. LOL… wanita hina mah mau single atau double (concept yang aneh) – tetep aja hina 😛

    ah… Morgan, kamu positif sekali secara kamu juga mengalami apa yg saya alami hihihi…

    Hey honey, I am a noble women 😀 no silly, inferior pathetic little mind of any man can say otherwise 😉

    Comment by hapitri | October 24, 2008 | Reply

  23. Hey pi, kok elo dikira laki2 sih? huehuehuehu… Yes, this is the challenge of being single. Lucu jg tulisan ini setelah dibaca2 lagi 😀

    Comment by deedee | November 6, 2008 | Reply

  24. it is hillarious dear 😀

    Comment by hapitri | November 6, 2008 | Reply

  25. keren banget…yaa gitu deh budaya timur, masyarakatnya selalu aja mau ikut campur, selalu aja mau tau~..wtf with that.

    Jomblo is a blessed 🙂

    Comment by annisa | July 17, 2009 | Reply

    • well… not really… but at least I can continuously complain about it… hehehe…

      Comment by hapitri | July 17, 2009 | Reply

    • Hihihihi… yes you can….

      Comment by hapitri | July 17, 2009 | Reply


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